Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
My penis needs a shock collar
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
