You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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