So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
