You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
