yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
