i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
