can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
