You work out of a Hotel?
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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