It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
