Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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