I feel like abortions should bother me more
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
