I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
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