I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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