Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
