I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
