ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
