the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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