Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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