i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
