Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
