So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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