scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Enjoy the penises
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
