I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
