ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Randomize
