i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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