we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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