I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
third nipple confirmed
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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