I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
two words: eviction party
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
