My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
