youre lurking in front of me
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
