When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
