I have demons in me.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
