If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
