There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Randomize
