there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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