i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
She even gives head with a lisp.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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