Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
