I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
