i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
