So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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