He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
