he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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