I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Randomize
