got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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