If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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