I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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