I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
How's work?
Spinning.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
