Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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