don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
