is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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