i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
