Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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