barbara walters just said penis...
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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